I have just cemented in to my bird brainish (at times) head, that the more you procrastinate doing something, the harder and more unpleasant the task becomes.
I know this quote is overused but it’s a good one, so deal. I also regurgitated this pic from a post or instagram, but I just didn’t like a post without any pictures.
Another quote I’m diggin’? “I just give myself permission to suck. I find this hugely liberating. – John Green
It’s been a very long time since I last posted and I’ve got so much to tell you! I’ll just get this out of the way, for starters, NOTHING is/was wrong. I guess the very best way to put it is that a whole bunch of little things started coming all at once and it really started to bog me down. I think some people call that “life”? I could be wrong. But I’m not.
I let all those little things get to me because I wasn’t taking care of myself. Namely, I was engaging in some very negative self talk. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I thought I might be the exception to the rule. You know that rule right? The rule that goes something like, “Don’t talk bad to yourself ever ever ever ever everrrrrr because you will start to believe what you’re telling yourself.” That rule. It’s a hard rule.
Whaaaaaale, I’m not superhuman and it turns out that I started to believe the horrible things I was telling myself. I know I’m not alone and you probably do this to yourself sometimes too. Admit it.
Currently, I’m working on a little project I like to call, “Me”. I am loving everything Trish Blackwell at the moment and I highly recommend her free podcasts and
any all of her other freebies and products she sells. She has a heart of gold and is sincerely intent on helping others. Just what I want to be when I grow up!
So part of my little project of healing my emotional self has been in getting my relationship with food back to a healthy state. I have to be careful here because I have some eating disorders to deal with in addition to being a recovering perfectionist. I’m currently on day 14, TWO WEEKS!, of a Whole30 paleo challenge. I didn’t realize that it has only been two weeks, so I got a little excited there. I’m almost halfway done, yet it doesn’t feel like it’s been hard either.
When I first did the challenge, almost exactly a year ago, it went great! And then I tried three more times in the beginning of the year to eliminate sugar out of my diet but I failed pretty miserably those three times. What’s different this time and compared to the first time I succeeded is that I believe in myself and I’m letting go of perfection. I am determined to follow the program exactly as it’s laid out to best reap the benefits of not being addicted to sugar, buuhhuut, I’m not stressing out about trace amounts of the wrong kind of oil, or when eating out, could there be a grain or two of sugar in this marinade? My baby girl also turned 15 last week and I had the smallest of sliver of chocolate pie and a dab of ice cream. I wanted to take part in her celebration and for me, it was right to have the treat. What I call a success is that I did not allow myself to berate myself for not doing the challenge perfectly. I also didn’t allow that one treat to derail the rest of my efforts. Chocolate and not guilt.
A win and uhhWIN!
So, let me just say…I’ve missed having my blog as an outlet for reaching out to others and sharing ideas and little random things. I apologize for letting things slash fears get the best of me. I would love it if you would email me and let me know how you are doing or leave a comment below. Have you ever considered giving up sugar to see how it affects your mood? I’d love to chat more about that! Or we could talk about life in general and or puppies.
Last few fleeting thoughts:
Loved this little comic of sketch books of the pros. You’ll see why in the very last square. So true!
I found this list of 10 ways to tell if you’re a perfectionist. Lucky for you, I have been there done that at one time or another and I can tell you first hand to knock it off.